My Experience Self-Publishing!

First time Self-Publishing

Hey everyone, I thought I’d share my thoughts on self-publishing.

After putting a lot of hard work into writing my first short story, Roleplay Gone Wrong, part of the Naughty Wives Series I plan on writing, I had the daunting task of self-publishing. I knew I would have to make a cover, and I had know idea how to do that and not to have it look like complete garbage. So I turned to Google.

I found a post: Create Your Own Ebook Covers, Step by Step, With Pictures by William King. From him I learned of image libraries. Websites with thousands and thousands of photos that you can buy the license for commercial use for relatively cheap. If you’re poor like me, it’s a great solution. My cover art for Roleplay Gone Wrong cost me about $14 from Dreamstime. Another image library I found is iStock.

So now I had the image and William King recommended a 3×4 aspect ration for the image size such as 600×800 pixels. I opened up gimp a free, and fairly robust, graphic editor. A poor man’s Photoshop. I shrank my picture down to 600×800, banged my head against gimps text editor, then I accidentally lost all my work just when I had it all finished. Sigh. Finally, an hour and a half later, I had the best cover I could produce with my limited gimp knowledge.


I had my cover, I had my text. I had to combined them into an ebook somehow. Google was my friend again and I learned all about calibre. Another free software that could edit an ebook. It’s a clunky, poorly laid out piece of free software that took me a few minutes just to figure out how to do anything, like adding the document I planed to turn into an ebook.

My first attempt to turn my open office (poor man’s Microsoft Word) file into an ebook was a disaster. The formatting of the text was all screwed up, there were no paragraphs, just huge chunks of text. I tried to edit it. Ebooks apparently run a modified html code that I could make absolutely zero sense of.

Back to Google, and the discovery of style sheets. I had always ignored the formatting selection on Open Office, opting to manually do it and, worse, use tab for indents. Turns out to get paragraphs in an ebook you need automatic indents from a style sheet (Styles and Formatting or F11 in Open Office). Chapter titles need the heading format so the ebook creator will recognize them as the start of chapters. My next attempt was far better. It looked like an ebook. Elated, I felt like I was ready to upload to Amazon and Smashwords.

Amazon was definitely the easier of the two. The only hitch: I made my cover 600 x 800 pixels and Amazon required at least 1000 pixels tall cover. So I scaled my cover up and was relieved to see it still looked crisp. I uploaded it and passed their text scan. If you want to post erotica on Amazon, be prepared to never mention a characters family (other than a spouse, and that means no mother-in-laws or sister-in-laws or any other -in-laws) or use the words boy or girl to often (even in sorotity girl or frat boy). No jobs traditionally held by high school students (no cheerleaders or babysitters even if they’re over eighteen), no living animals (extinct animals are okay), and no nuns (don’t ask, I couldn’t tell you why).

Smashwords was next, and the headache began in earnest.

The cover was again a problem. Smashwords requires the width (not the length, but the shorter, top side) to be at least 1400 pixels. Again I stretched my cover, hoping it would still look crisp and sharp. Relief swept through me—it did. I was afraid that I would have had to recreate my cover from the original image.

It was time for me to face the Smashwords ebook creator—the meat grinder. I used Open Office, so I had to first convert my file into a .doc (the only format they accept). Then I submitted it. The meat grinder did not approve. I had tab errors, copyright page errors, and paragraph indent errors. Because I had foolishly used tabs to indent as I wrote (they didn’t teach style sheets when I learned typing), I had to go through and take them all out. Then I had to modify my copyright page to something Smashwords approved. I read through their Style Guide, and I set up style sheets with the recommended .3” first line indent.

Resubmitted. Paragraph error. Improper indents.

Resubmitted after making sure all the indents were in fact .3”. Paragraph error. Improper indents.

Took out the indents. Accepted. But it looked terrible. Block paragraphs with only a tiny separation between them. Unacceptable to me.

Now I was thinking I had to shell out a hundred dollars to get Microsoft Office, money I didn’t really have. I dug deeper, reading through the Style Guide Faq, and I realized what was wrong. The Autovetter message used this phrase: “If you want to use first line paragraph indents, then remove the “before/after” space you have coded into your paragraph style.” I didn’t understand what that meant. Luckily their FAQ explained things in simple terms that my pounding head could understand. My style sheet put an extra space .1” between the paragraphs when I saved it as a .doc file, and that had caused all the issues. Smashwords will let you indent paragraphs or have spaces between paragraphs, but not both. I removed the space and suddenly…

I was approved!

I shot my fist up into the air, as triumphant as a Greek hero completing some seemingly impossible task. I slew the Hydra, skinned the Nemean lion, navigated Scylla and Charybdis, and used far too much hyperbole in describing my elation just now! I survived the meat grinder, and its strange messages that made little sense.

I few days later, I passed their manual inspection. I was on the premium content list!

So for those out there looking to self-publish, remember these lessons. Make your cover width at least 1400 pixels if you want to post on Smashwords or 1000 pixels tall if you want to post on Amazon. Before you start writing, read Smashwords Style Guide and set your formatting up ahead of time. It will help to make any ebook, not just one for posting on Smashwords, and save you hours of formatting headaches.

Check out Roleplay Gone Wrong available on Smashwords and Amazon for the low price of $0.99. It’s a hot read about a married couple who get more than they bargained for with some roleplay when a Black cop catches them at their fun. Cheating, Cuckold, Wife Watching, Spanking, and Bondage. See how Frank and Evie’s relationship changes forever!

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Roleplay Gone Wrong Sample Chapter

Roleplay Gone Wrong
Naughty Wives Series 1
by Reed James
Copyright 2014


Chapter One: Evie’s Naughty Idea

Frank wolf whistled when Evie stepped out of the bathroom.

She wore a slinky negligee – deep maroon with a black lace trim – he hadn’t seen before; a hungry look on her face. He instantly knew she had thought of some new, kinky game for them to play. She smiled, a sultry curl to her full, lush lips – just begging to be kissed – causing dimples to appear in her flushed cheeks. After thirteen years of marriage, he still found her beautiful, with her sparkling, blue eyes, and raven-black hair that framed her round face.

They had married shortly after college and he loved her even more today than when they first met. Even as his love for her deepened, their sex life had cooled. Things just became stale. There were only so many positions to try after thirteen years. So a few years ago they started roleplaying to add an extra spice to their life.

It was tame stuff at first. The sort of games that could be played in the safety of their own home: the naughty nurse giving her patient a sponge bath, the bored housewife and the repairmen, the stripper at the bachelor party, and then the he was the stripper at the bachelorette party. His wife’s favorite was the cop letting a prostitute off the hook in exchange for sexual favors. Evie was a social worker, and she spent hours helping women to get out of prostitution, and Frank discovered during their passionate roleplay that she had a strange fascination with hookers.

The tame roleplaying at home led to more play out of the house. They would go to a bar and Frank would pretend to pick her up like she was a barfly, then they’d go home and fuck. Soon that wasn’t exciting enough, so they started going to seedy motels, pretending they were cheating on their spouses, and last week they had fucked each other in a bar’s men’s room.

It was the wildest sex Frank had ever experienced. The thrill of getting caught had been intoxicating. They could hear men moving around the bathroom, while they tried to keep their ever growing passion quiet. Knowing that the only thing separating the two of them from being found out was the thin metal of stall’s door had quickly sent his balls to boiling; his orgasm that night had been intense.

“You look sexy,” Frank smiled as she posed for him at the master bath’s doorway.

Her blue eyes danced with pleasure and she swayed to the bed, hardening his cock. His eyes fell to the bodice, the pink of her nipples peaking out through gaps in the black lace. The hem fell barely below her crotch, tantalizing him with the hint of the treasure between her thighs.

“You ready for some loving?” she purred as she reached the bed, crawling across like a hungry puma, licking her lips.

“Always, babe,” he answered as her hands rubbed the growing bulge through his cotton pajamas.

She purred as she drew his cock out, her hands stroking life into him; he responded eagerly. She rolled her thumb across the tip, smearing precum around his sensitive head, pleasure flashing through him lightning.

She made a throaty groan, a predatory cat hungry for her prey. “What have you got for your kitty tonight?”

“Some creamy milk,” Frank answered. “My naughty kitty just has to work for it.”

Evie’s grin was large, feline, her blue eyes twinkling with lust. “While your kitty’s working for her creamy milk, why don’t you pet her?” she asked, rubbing her cheek like a cute cat against the tip of his cock. Precum gleamed silvery on her, a strand momentarily connecting his dick to her face before it snapped.

“Sound’s good. I love petting my kitty.”

Evie flipped around, straddling Franks face. She wore no panties beneath her negligee, and her treasure – barely concealed by a neatly trimmed, black bush – descended to his face. Juices glistened on her fur, dripping from her thick, pink lips and he could smell her wonderful scent—a spicy, heady aroma that he still loved even after thirteen years of marriage.

“I love it when you pet me,” she purred as he took his first lick across her vulva, gathering a thick coating of her creamy juices into his mouth.

Frank had heard that some men wouldn’t go down on a woman, and he couldn’t understand that. He loved every part of his wife’s pussy: from her small clit that had to be coaxed out of its hood like a shy maid out of her panties, to her thick labia that would rub wonderfully against his lips as he dug his tongue deep into her hole. He loved to spread open her petals and stare down into her pink depths, then plunge his tongue in deep and fuck her with it like a mini-cock.

And he loved to dine at her buffet.

As he went to work on her pussy, her lips and tongue were busy on his cock. She started with small licks, very cat-like, focusing on the ridge around the mushroom-like tip. Every time her tongue flicked across the tip, pleasure knifed through him. Then that wonderful moment came when her lips engulfed him. She sucked hard and his cunnilingus brought gasps and moans of delight muffled by his cock.

That was the best part of sixty-nining with her. As he ate out her cunt and drove her wild, her moans became more passionate and loud, vibrating about his cock as she bobbed her head. One more delightful sensation that added to the cornucopia of her sucking mouth and wiggling tongue.

His hands found her ass, still tight despite turning thirty-five last month. She worked out everyday, keeping herself in great shape for him. He felt bad; his job kept him too busy, and he was losing the war against his expanding waist. “Just more of you to love,” Evie would joke, or sometimes she would grab his love handles while they were making love, and giggle, “Something for me to hold onto.”

He explored her wonderful firm ass, squeezing her cheeks as his tongue feasted on her pussy, savoring every spicy drop of her ambrosia. He slid his fingers down into her crack, searching for her rosebud. She sucked harder when he found her puckered anus, gently teasing it with his finger. He pressed and her sphincter resisted for a moment, before it parted and his finger buried into her asshole.

She exploded.

Juices poured into his hungry lips and a loud, muffled yowl hummed around his cock, adding wonderful vibrations and bringing Frank closer and closer to his own climax. He worked his finger in and out of her anus as his tongue went to town on her clitoral hood. The little pink bud sprouted forth and he sucked his lips about it, driving Evie into another spasm of rapture.

Her mouth slid lower and lower on his cock. Frank knew she was rewarding him for the wonderful cum he had given her by deep-throating his cock. The tip brushed the back of her throat and she relaxed and swallowed him. It was pure delight to be in the tight confines of her throat, and her humming vibrated harder through his cock as her lips kissed the base of his shaft.

“Shit, Evie,” he groaned. “Gonna cum!”

His balls were boiling over; the pressure in them too high to be contained any longer. She quickly slid her mouth up his cock until only the tip remained between her lips as his semen thickly flooded her lips. Frank groaned, thrusting his hips up as the tense pleasure flashed through his entire body. Then he relaxed, panting, and enjoyed the afterglow.

Evie cuddled up next to him and nuzzled his cheek. “You were wonderful,” she purred, licking at his lips. She always enjoyed cleaning her juices up afterward. While she licked, her hand found his softening cock, gently stroking him.

“So, what do you have in mind, Evie?” he asked her.

A look of pure innocence appeared on her face. Frank didn’t buy it one bit. “Maybe I just wanted to give my husband a good time.”

Frank leveled a flat look at her. “And that’s why you bought a new nighty? It has nothing to do with the fact that you thought of some sexy, new way for us to have fun?”

Her grin turned wicked. “I had the most deliciously naughty idea,” she whispered in his ear, her breath warm; her tongue lightly grazed his earlobe as she talked. His cock began to respond to her lazy strokes. He felt like they were back in college, lying in his dorm after an hour spent making love. Evie would stroke him and had whisper naughty things in his ear to have gotten him ready for round two.

It had been years since Frank’s cock had been able to be ready this fast. But tonight she was just so damned sexy; transformed into a succubus by whatever naughty idea bubbled inside her head. Frank felt his second wind rising along with his cock.

“What?” he croaked as pleasure tumbled through his body.

“I want you to be my john.”

“Your what, babe?”

“My john,” she continued; breath moist on his ear. “You know, the guy who picks up a prostitute.”

“Right,” he muttered. “I should have realized that.”

“Having a little trouble thinking?”

“Well,” he smiled, “it’s hard to think with a beautiful, passionate, amazing woman stroking your cock.”

Her laugh was throaty and wicked. “It must be so hard to be a man and have all that blood pooling in your cock, starving your brain of oxygen.”

“It definitely has its advantages,” he answered.

“Umm, I can feel all seven inches of your advantages.”

“Eight inches,” he protested. “Just like you’ve been twenty-nine the last six years.”

She kissed him, her lips salty. “Fine, eight inches. And where would you like to stick this impressive specimen.”

His hands wormed between her wet thighs and he roughly shoved two fingers deep into her. “I think this’ll do just fine.”

She threw her head back and laughed, rich and velvety. “I think it will.”

She looks like a goddess, he thought as she straddled his waist. Frank’s cock reached for the sky, for the pussy hovering just inches above it. She lowered slowly until his tip brushed her petals, teasing him. Her fingers grabbed his cock and rubbed him across her engorged labia, smearing precum and pussy cream together.

“You haven’t heard the best part of my idea,” she purred.

“What?” he demanded, frustration tinging his voice. “Can’t this wait!” He wanted to be buried inside her. No, he needed to be buried inside her. His cock ached for her embrace.

“I want to stand on a street corner, out in public, dressed like the trashiest whore. Then you get to drive up and pay me. There’s this motel we can go behind and fuck like bunnies in your car.”

That sounded dangerous, but it was so hard to think with her silky pussy rubbing on his dick. His cock needed to be inside her. He would agree to anything at that moment to feel her sheath engulf him. “Fine. Let’s do it!”

Whatever reservations he may have felt were driven away by the rapture of her pussy engulfing his cock. Warm, wet, spongy. It was absolute heaven. Nature had left her barren and she was as tight as she had been at twenty.

“Fuck!” he groaned as she rose up achingly slow, the sweetest friction rubbing on his sensitive tip. “Take off the nighty! Let me see those beautiful tits!”

Evie peeled the negligee over her head, revealing her magnificent, round breasts. Her nipples were fat, pink, and centered in half-dollar sized areolas. At thirty-five, or twenty-nine, or whatever age she claimed to be, they were still perfect. His hands roughly grasped them; his ardor was too great to consider being gentle.

“I’m going to be your five dollar hooker!” she gasped as she bounced on him, her tits jiggling. “A cheap whore to be used for your pleasure!”

“Oh Evie,” he moaned. “Be my whore!”

“Yes, yes, yes!” she panted over and over. “I will! I’ll be your dirty, filthy hooker. I’ll do anything you pay for! Anything!”

He couldn’t believe it; his balls were already boiling over. It was like he was back in college all over again and able to go three times in a night. He grunted as he erupted his frothy passion into her churning sheath. Evie slammed down and ground her clit into the wet, tangled mess of his pubic hair. She bucked, her pussy convulsing about his cock as her orgasm smashed through her.

“Holy shit,” he muttered as she leaned down, her heavy breasts rubbing against his hairy chest. “You are a helluva woman. I’m glad I married you.”

Smiling, she breathed, “You ain’t half bad either, Frank.” Her kiss was sweet, loving, as they both came down from their orgasms.

As Evie fell asleep on his chest, Frank’s mind was full of thoughts of the fun they’d have on Friday night. He just had to get through the drudgery of the next two work days.

Ebook available at Smashwords and Amazon for $0.99

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